Smiling is my Favorite!

Sometimes I feel like I do very little here in Kazakhstan, I mean I have a good time, but lack fulfilling work that I desire! Which led me to ask myself what can I do? It was told to us during Pre Service Training that people do not smile at each other after making eye contact, which seems SO foreign to me! In my small town back home where everyone knows everyone we ALL smile at each other and when I smile and people do not smile back I think that’s rude, so this is very very different for me. We were also told that if a woman does this to a man, she is flirting with him. As a confident woman who walks tall with her head up and smiles at everyone, it is very difficult to walk with my head down so as not to make eye contact with anyone. I think I flirted with EVERY man in my training village. I worked hard at not smiling after making eye contact. It wasn’t as difficult to walk with my eyes on the ground because there is a lot of things one can trip over just walking to the bus stop, but I have since decided that I’m not going to change this – smiling is contagious and it may not be much, but it’s all I got right now and I can freely give it. I’ve made a few friends because of smiling, at least, I assume that’s why. People like this, I know, but they are not used to it – the other day a woman smiled back! I was shocked!

There isn’t a lot I can do about my Eco-Org aka: boarding school. It’s very clear that I’m not going anywhere and will have to “make do” with what has been given. And I may not be able to offer much in terms of Ecology Projects, or anything, but have resolved to do what I can, with what I have, where I am! I will make a difference in the lives of people by building lasting friendships that begin with a friendly face.

“The sweetest thing that you’ll ever see in the whole wide world is a happy girl” – Martina McBride

Wake Up Call

A few nights ago I had gone to sleep late only to be awoken about an hour after I had gone to bed. I stirred for a moment when I heard a “chirping” noise, I laid in bed and heard it again…I realized it was the Combination Carbon Monoxide and Smoke Alarm, courtesy of Peace Corps. I’ll confess, I hadn’t even opened it until my Regional Manager visited and I had to test it in front of her…oops. I opened it then and it seemed to work fine, but on this night it seemed to be malfunctioning! I got all the way up, clicked the light on, removed the batteries and began to read the User’s Manual, yea the paper that came with it that few people read J I opened a window while I was doing this, just in case. After reading it I realized how confusing this device this really is:
Carbon Monoxide: Flashes red, 4 beeps, pause, 4 beeps, pause, etc
Smoke: Flashes red, 3 beeps, pause, 3 beeps, pause, etc.
Chirping once per minute = low battery warning
Chirping 3 times every minute while flashing red = device is not working properly and needs to be replaced
Now it’s 1:30 in the morning and I have silenced the stupid thing and find myself wondering how many times it chirped – I knew that it wasn’t smoke and then began to get paranoid that it was Carbon Monoxide – thankfully, the manual has a lot about this poison and I learned a few things –
If the alarm is exposed to 400 ppm of CO it must alarm between 4 and 15 mins
If the alarm is exposed to 100 ppm of CO is must alarm between 10 and 50 mins
If the alarm is exposed to 70 ppm of CO it must alarm between 60 and 240 mins
It also gives the length of time one can be exposed before ever experiencing a life threat.
**WARNING: Actuation of your CO Alarm indicates the presences of Carbon Monoxide, which can kill you. In other words, when your CO Alarm sounds, you must not ignore it!** Great! I took the batteries out!
An exposure to 100 ppm of CO for 20 mins may not affect average healthy adults, but after 4 hours the same level may cause headaches
An exposure to 400 ppm of CO may cause headaches in average, healthy adults after 35 mins, but can cause death after 2 hours
I couldn’t remember if I had a headache, but reading all this material was certainly giving me one!
Mild exposure: Slight headache, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, “flu-like” symptoms
Medium exposure: Throbbing headache, drowsiness, confusion, fast heart rate
Extreme exposure: Convulsions, unconsciousness, heart and lung failure, brain damage, death
Now here was my dilemma – it’s now 2 in the morning and I know should go to bed, I have to wake up in five hours – but being the cautious paranoid woman that I can sometimes be, I thought, ‘if there is CO in here and I go to bed, I could not wake up, never experiencing any symptoms.’ I know it’s crazy and ridiculous and call me selfish, but there are some things that I haven’t done yet, that I would like to before death comes. I decide the fastest I could possibly die is 2 hours (if there are 400 ppm of CO in the air – this is morbid…I know), but I would probably feel symptoms before this. I’m no longer tired and decide to read a book for a while. At 3:30, I decide it would be a good idea to get some sleep and I haven’t experienced any symptoms of CO poisoning – and my apartment doesn’t really even have a BIG threat of it anyway– it’s way too drafty in here – I go to bed, but not before setting an alarm to wake me at 4:30, 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30 – I know this sounds ridiculous – but that’s what I did…I thought if there was CO in the air, I would certainly have symptoms first and get out of my apartment! Well, 7:30 came and I got up and went to work, to my surprise, not all that tired! I work all day and when I arrive home from work I re-install the batteries and begin to watch a movie – then I hear it – 3 chirps, then nothing – I wait – I hear it again 3 chirps and then nothing – it was then that I realize that, of course, the device is not working properly and my work during overnight the night before was in vain. But I think I knew this – I mean, I didn’t have any problems when it was still in the package…

Sledding, Camel Sightings and Cake Baking!

In Kazakhstan, a sled is not entirely necessary for sledding…I know it may sound weird, but when you don’t have a sled try cardboard! It works just as well, in fact, I was surprised! What an innovative way to re-use the cardboard that was going to end up in the garbage bin that the local camels would call dinner. I went sledding with a few weeks ago…there was a small child there hanging out, Sasha; he assisted in pushing my “sled” down the hill. The one down side was that it had warmed up a bit here at site, I think there was more mud and slush than snow and ice, but I still had a good time.

At site, there are what I would call “stray” camels, only I have learned that they aren’t exactly stray…I don’t know who they belong to, but apparently someone? They generally eat out of the garbage bin and it’s not always food, sometimes it’s cardboard! I find myself intrigued by these enormous creatures! I have only seen camels in zoos before, I like to stop and watch this animal eat out of the garbage, but that draws attention to me and the “silly American.” J A few weeks ago, I wanted to give this “wild” animal actual food, only I didn’t know I was going to have a camel sighting and all I had on me were trusty gummy bears from the bazaar and one roll of Smarties left…I didn’t want to give this beast my American candy, but was curious about whether or not he liked him. Nervous that he may spit at any moment, I quickly found a piece of cardboard, placed candy on the edge of it and offered it to the camel. That animal did not seem to enjoy my Smarties! That’s where I draw the line…who doesn’t like Smarties?! WHAT?! I offered this creature gummy bears…he seemed to like these more, in fact, he started walking toward me, I assume to get more! The camels are one of the most exciting things at site and I generally get very excited if I spot one!

All my Christmas packages FINALLY got here last week…I got 4 packages in a week! It was an excellent week! In one package I had LOTS of delicious goodies including: cake mixes and kool aid! Last weekend, I made a cake mix with my site mate…we didn’t have frosting though and we realized that powered sugar is A LOT of tenge and we will most likely never buy enough powered sugar to make frosting…it was still delicious! He had Fluff (marshmallow stuff) from the US…we used that instead…it seemed to work out well!

Adjusting my expectations

As a sophomore in high school everything was a BIG deal – it’s often very funny to think about the things that mattered SO much then, but have very little importance now. For example:
Who will my locker partner be?
What will I wear to school?
Who will I get ready for Homecoming with?
Who will I go to Homecoming with?
What if my friends are not in my classes?
Who will I sit near?
I’m sure there are MANY more examples of trivial things that mattered then, but have little relevance now – I mean who REALLY remembers (or cares) who they sat next to in 3rd period sophomore year – I don’t even remember what 3rd period was! J

During one of my many crises at 16 years old – I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about – I found myself sitting in my Youth Pastor’s office complaining, I’m sure about something that would not matter the next week or most likely even the next day, but it was a BIG deal! My Youth Pastor, bless his heart, uttered these words to me, “Christina, maybe the reason people let you down, is because you expect too much from them.” Those words were probably of little use to me at 16 when the WHOLE world was against me and maybe I even argued that it wasn’t true, but those same words have stuck with me for the last eight years and will, I’m sure, be with me for the rest of my life.

In Kazakhstan, I often remind myself of these words and wonder, ‘Am I expecting too much?’ and maybe I am. I have realized that I expect a lot of things from people. I expect people to want to come to English club, to want to learn, to want to be my friend, to try and understand me and more than anything else I expect that people would be patient with my language ability – or inability rather. I expect all of these things and I am the foreigner. This leads me to wonder what I expect from a foreigner in America, which now looking at it from the other side, is FAR too much. Should I not be held to the same standard I expect? I think I should be. I also think I should keep my expectations in check – all things will come with time – I should not expect less, but my expectations should be realistic.

I can’t tell you what could have possibly been the problem on this day, one of the many problems we all have at 16. I also don’t know what else was said during this meeting. I used to think these words were a curse; they come to mind at the most inconvenient times, generally when I don’t want them to, because I’m irritated by something or someone…but maybe these words are actually a blessing? As they force me to stop and check my expectations and consider whether or not I’m expecting more from people than they are able to give me…it’s worth a thought…Thanks Nate!

Ain’t No Party Like a Kazak Party

I was invited to the 50th birthday party of my site mate's host dad – a Jubilee! I was happy to be invited and excited to go – there was going to be dancing…not line dancing…but what we did sufficed J This birthday party was very much like a wedding reception. There were games, singing, dancing, and even an MC! Who could forget the toasts as well! I know that at birthday parties in Kazakhstan we give toasts to the birthday person – a wish. I had asked a friend from work to assist me with the preparation of a Kazak toast and worked hard to memorize it (which is good because I will use it again).

The evening started with eating followed by MORE eating! First we had different kinds of salads and caviar (not a big fan of caviar), there was also some delicious vegetables set out! After this Beshbarmark is brought out – the first “main course.” During the eating people are called up to the front based on how they know the birthday person to give there toast…this takes a LONG time considering the amount of people available at this party. In between toasts and eating there is dancing going on. There was also some performances put on by dancers and there were some singers! This went on for about three hours when there was a break (intermission, if you will). People went outside to smoke or to use the bathroom.

When we returned there was of course more dancing! Back at the table the second main dish was coming – Monte – my fav! There was STILL toasting going on…I wanted it to be my turn; I had memorized my toast, but thought with every passing moment I was forgetting it! More dancing. Then, of course, it wouldn’t be complete without cake, chai and cookies. Finally, it was the Americans’ turn to give toasts – all two of us. People are generally impressed at foreigners who try to learn the local language. Then more dancing – the party went until 2am! A birthday party for 8 hours…that’s what I call a good time!

And now because I’m SUPER proud of my Kazak skills…a toast: (I’m not entirely sure what everything means, but it’s all good things…)

Two gan cunenigizbin
Curp baket ta lamen
Zor dane tow look so lame in
Balalarrrrngizbin kazagin Corrine giz
Aksha curp bowl sin
Kraziess balmasin
Sol you shin al upco yamaz

What kind of girl do I look like?

Over the last few months I have heard myself say “Do I look like the kind of girl who…?” Generally that is followed by a million different things I don’t want to do, don’t like to do, or can’t do.

Do I look like the kind of girl who…
Wants to play in the dirt with worms? NO! I hate worms, I hate being dirty and detest dirt under my fingernails (I do realize I’m in the PC J) I can’t keep a plant alive to save my life and really have no desire to have my own garden – especially with the bazaar SO close!
Wants to take care of any sort of animal? NO! Pets are nice, especially the ones that belong to someone else. I never want to have my own – this would be too much work and think of the money I save by not having a pet. Although one of my biggest fears is that I will be the crazy cat lady in about 40 years!
Can cook? NO! Well, if you like burnt items or want to do a random fire drill, then I’m your girl! I’m REALLY awesome on the microwave though J and enjoy baking.
Cares about the rules? NO! Sure, I think some rules are good – but generally I think there are FAR too many rules to remember and are mostly created to be broken…right? Don’t be fooled, I follow the rules that I think make sense, but if it’s a lame rule just made for the sole purpose of having a rule…forget about it!
Cares that one never orders chai and chetchel or beer and ice cream together? NO! If that’s what I want, I don’t think it’s all that weird.

I signed up for the Peace Corps last January and began the never ending process of doctors, dentists, faxes, emails, phone calls, etc. I quit my favorite job working with individuals with developmental disabilities, which I loved. I wanted to do something BIG, to make a difference. I was nominated for Special Education in Central Asia. I want to work with individuals with special needs – this is my passion and my love, my calling. I want to show teachers a different way of teaching these individuals in the classroom and help parents better understand their children and give them hope. I want to create and help implement treatment plans. I want to assist in setting achievable goals for these individuals and work alongside them every step as they strive to reach the goal. After the first goal is achieved I want to assist in setting another and another and another, etc. I want to work with students on meaningful tasks – those things that will actually be beneficial for the future – and help them integrate into their communities. I want to help them to realize their full potential and give them a fair chance at the world. This is the “kind of girl” I look like.

Right now, I’m “working,” well, more like sitting, at a school where none of the children have special needs, where my job will be finding grants for their greenhouse project (once they have a greenhouse project) and where I will be starting ecology club – yea, because I have a degree in Psychology and NO experience with ecology, yet somehow this makes sense. I know I’ve only been at site for three months and hopefully work will come. I’m going to get though winter and pray for something more in the spring/summer, when people actually leave their houses! For now, I will try to be content knowing that this is where I’m supposed to be, work WILL come and the “grass isn’t greener on the other side.”

In other news, I have found Coke Light (aka: Diet Coke)! I found it at the new store which happens to be next door to the school I am currently sitting at! This is all the motivation I need to go into work :-) The first day I purchased 2 cans thinking I would save one for the following day, but the second can did not see tomorrow, then I decided I shall purchase only one a day, this way I will not become dependent and will become friends with the cashiers and it will be just like my Wesco back home!